It's not me, It's you

There was a time when I actually thought everything would work out, but I was wrong so horrible wrong,
And now that time is over, for a long time, and for good.
Life is worthless.
And it hurts so so so bad and all I can do about it is cry, until the psychiatry decides it been enough months, so they can make me an appointment to meet someone.
I'm just so tired of this,
Always trying to get help, never actually getting any help,
Always chasing, never resting.
There was a time I thought everything would work out, but it never does and it never will.
So why am I still doing this?